When Your Kitchen Tells a Different Story Than Your Instagram

Look, we all know that one friend. The one whose dinner party photos look like they stepped out of a magazine. Perfect plating, spotless countertops, not a single misplaced utensil in sight. Meanwhile, you’re over here shoving last week’s takeout containers behind the microwave hoping nobody notices.

Here’s the thing though – even the most picture-perfect kitchens have their dirty secrets. Last month I was helping a chef friend renovate his home kitchen (the irony, right?) and we discovered what can only be described as a archaeological dig behind his stove. Grease from 2019, a spatula that went missing during covid, and enough dust bunnies to knit a sweater. Made me realize that sometimes you need more than just good intentions and a bottle of degreaser. Sometimes you need the big guns, like a Melbourne hoarder clean up company The Junkman to really get things sorted.

The truth is, our kitchens tell stories. Not the curated ones we post online, but the real ones. The drawer that won’t close because it’s stuffed with gadgets you bought at 2am watching infomercials. The cabinet where plastic containers go to multiply like rabbits. The pantry where spices from the Bush administration still live rent-free.

And its not just about the mess. Its about how that mess affects everything else. Ever notice how you cook less when your kitchen feels chaotic? How you order more takeout when finding a clean pan feels like solving a rubik’s cube? There’s actual psychology behind this – cluttered spaces lead to cluttered minds, which leads to… well, more clutter.

I’ve been in enough home kitchens to know that the best cooks aren’t necessarily the tidiest. Some of the most amazing meals I’ve eaten came from kitchens that looked like tornado aftermath. But there’s a difference between creative chaos and cant-find-the-cutting-board chaos. One inspires culinary adventures, the other inspires pizza delivery.

The turning point usually comes when someone opens that one cabinet. You know the one. Where tupperware lids have formed their own ecosystem. Where that yogurt maker from 2015 still lives. Where things go in but never come out. That’s when people realize they need help. Real help. Not just organizing tips from pinterest, but actual humans with trucks and a plan.

What surprises most people is how much space they actually have once the clutter’s gone. Suddenly that “tiny” kitchen has room for a proper spice rack. That cramped pantry can actually hold a week’s worth of groceries. The counters? They exist! Who knew?

The other surprise is what they find. Besides the expected (expired cans, mystery freezer items), there’s always something unexpected. The cookbook from grandma hidden behind the cereal boxes. The handwritten recipe cards stuck between appliances. The good china nobody remembered buying. Its like kitchen archaeology, but with more emotional baggage and fewer academic papers.

Here’s my advice after years of seeing kitchens in every state imaginable: start small but think big. Clear one drawer, but have a plan for the whole kitchen. Be ruthless with gadgets – if you haven’t made zucchini noodles in three years, you’re probably not starting now. And most importantly, know when to call in professionals. There’s no shame in admitting you’re overwhelmed. Sometimes the best recipe for a functional kitchen starts with admitting you need help clearing out the old ingredients.

The goal isn’t instagram perfection. Its a kitchen that works for how you actually live. One where you can find the garlic press without conducting a search and rescue mission. Where opening the pantry doesn’t risk an avalanche. Where cooking feels like a choice, not an obstacle course.

Your kitchen should inspire you to create, not stress you out. Whether that means finally tackling that junk drawer yourself or bringing in the cavalry for a complete overhaul, the important thing is taking that first step. Because somewhere under all that clutter is the kitchen you actually want. You just have to dig it out.

And who knows? Maybe once you can actually see your countertops again, you’ll discover you actually like cooking. Or at least, you’ll have a clean surface for unpacking the takeout. Either way, its a win.